Jagamum naan Ahamum naan

 When I was writing a similar one 365 days before, I never realized the year would turn so upside down that I can't even comprehend So Happy New Year 2021. You seem to be everyone's favorite and you seem to elude a lot of positivity and hope just because you are 2021. Now to go back to 2020.... 1)  Probably thankful that all my family are safe and sound , I know it sounds selfish but you see.. 2) Dewy and I learnt a new thing about ourselves that we can co-exist in a small house and see each other every awake moment and still be sane. Pat on the back 3) Last year I added walking back to life and continued to do so this year and infact at a better pace 4) I still do Diamond Painting. It does bring some peace 5) Our India trip flunked into sea like Titanic and still harboring the idea that it would happen with you coming to our life darling 2021 6) Dewy did 3 Math olympiads and came out in flying colors in all of them with some National level awards and Silver medals 7) I gained

We started with Doctor (isn't it that a noble profession that all of us wanted to do as a child)   Then we moved to Doctor in Space( This is the period when we were doing the summer camps about   Space)                And now it is Designer (Dress Designer to be exact) This is  my own Dewy I am talking about. This is 8 year old status. I remember vaguely that I was pretty directionless till my 10th and then one thing got cleared that "Oh crap, I hate biology". So that just took away one option. Then I fell in love with computers and by the process of elimination, I fell into Engineering as my stream. I really hope Dewy has it all figured out better than what I did with my life.  I would help her in whatever way she needs,  to do what her heart desires. With all her love towards math I was hoping for something different , but Fashion Designer. Sighhhhh....  I have work cut out for me.

Someone recently told me that I am not as strong as I put up a face in front of people.  How true!!!  But let me see, is it only me or almost half of the world we see out there does the same. I would say the later part is true. We are all programmed to adjust and assimilate the environment. And when, things are not , we deal going well, we deal with it in our own terms. Some become frenzy, some go sick, some just become cold(tune out) to the dark clouds and I just do all 3 together. I remember there was a day, when I got into the wrong rail line while coming back from work as I was so engrossed into a office call. I realized it a while later so couldn't get off anywhere in between that would make it easier to go to my stop. This mistake would make me late to be at home before Dewy comes home. And I always see any mistakes as my incompetence. Now the thing is I have wonderful neighbors who took Dewy in and she was perfectly safe. But to me, if I have to be at home before she comes a

O me, what eyes hath Love put in my head,  Which have no correspondence with true sight! Or, if they have, where is my judgment fled, That censures falsely what they see aright? Now what has gotten into me. I don't know. I read " Mid Summer Night's Dream" sometimes (many times) when I want a brain less reading material. I love this play that Shakespeare had written because of the simplicity of the scheming which goes in there and all the funny names of the fairies and their helpers. So this is a part of sonnet attached to that play and I always feel truly connected to these words. What we see might not be what it is and sometimes though our brain knows that it is not correct, but eyes tells something else to brain and muddles up judgements. Am in a similar predicament. Now to put it in words, yeah .... makes it difficult. Don't we all at times fight out this inner muddle which has no sense or sensibility to it and still there seems to be no way to be out of it. I

There are lot of useless things which happens and a very few are note worthy. Some of those  **************** At 5 PM, there comes a knock at door. I went to open. Blessed with a friend of Dewy asking " Is Dewy there?"  Yes, she is. "Can you ask her to open door?" Puzzled.. " Door is already open,  will call her" "No, I want her to open door. I have a surprise." "You mean , you want me to close and ask her to open?"  "This is her house, she should open".. comes the reply Yeah, I just clean house, cook food and pay rent. Why bother!!! ************** Sunday Morning: Me: Planning to do tomato rice for lunch Dewy: I don't like it Me: Does that matter? Dewy: I want peas place. Me: This isn't restaurant. Can't cater to different needs Dewy: Where am I asking different things. Just replace Rice of the day from Tomato Rice to Peas Pulav. Do I dare to talk more. Nope ***************** There was a scheduled power outage last

 We were doing some age comparison (math fun)  while driving back from guitar class and Dewy was talking about 18 years. So I told her that at 18 she is on her own to find way for her studies and work and I would go out on Europe trip.  It immediately backfired on me. "When ever you work late, you tell me that all the hard work I am doing now is for you, but if you are anyway going to do Europe trip, spend more time with me now instead of working. I always see you between kitchen, office and calls that I feel bad to ask you to spend time with me.", whined Dewy.  Ohhh that hurt. I had to explain to her slowly that just because I am busy doesn't mean I can't spend time with her and obviously she is important to me , now and always. And slyly I did tell her that I will certainly do Europe trip at some point in my life when she is all settled with her stuff. Somehow in the heat of the discussion that went unnoticed 😀😀😀 I am at fault that in bustling corporate life and