Jagamum naan Ahamum naan

Dewy as soon as she gets into car after school. "so did you eat lunch? " Me perplexed, then I remember that I have been almost avoiding lunches in the day madam goes to school. Hence the question  Politely say "no.. not yet!"  and avoided further conversation on it. Another day Dewy again: Did you drink water from morning?  Me(almost ignoring. Not because I want to avoid her questioning but because I didn't drink any and didn't want to say out loud)  She fills in bottle with water and bangs it right next to me on the table. I was having argument with my manager only something related to work which I am not happy about. Dewy listens to it quietly. After I end call, she comes and gives me a peck and tight hug. Another day, I was working ( which seems to be always 🤣🤣) , she brings out my shrug and our back massager and puts it on my back. Where is my Dewy who was interested only in her toys, her iPad and her dresses. Surprised how these kids grown on us witho...

Considering how bad I am at updating this space..... as usual this is a week delayed release Obviously I am talking about one main thing that has occupied my whole being- Dewy - Its been 8 years; when they handed over a tiny little mouse like thingie into my hand and thus adding responsibility of another human into your life - The one who irritated the hell out of me by messing with my sleep in early days and later ; turned into a sweet darling one that awaits for me to come from office so that she can just lays her eyes on me before she jumps to bed after weary day. - At the cost of sounding cliche, I have grown with her, from being an impatient self to considerably more patient and many other better qualities (so I say) - And just like that in front of my eyes, there she has grown and entering tween. - She has a very unique perspective to things and also a very strong personality which I sometime find it painful - She can be carefree ( oh I don't bother if you done have time for ...

" Automation" : This is a word the Dewy hears a lot from her mommy who works in so- called quality are. I use this word generously while talking to my customer on how much my team has done and also to my team during their appraisals on how less they have done. I was working in kitchen and I was complaining how vessels just seem to keep appearing into sink and never ending. And how much my miss my maid from India ( that's another story altogether). My daughter says " Amma you didnt automate enough" I look at her quizzically and asks her what she means. She just scoffs  and say duh.... this is what you keep saying on phone. Way to do things faster. wah Dewy ...wah good that you now what is automation **************     *************     **********     *********** We are early to bus stop. Just 2 mins early. Dewy is surprised to see no crowd. She scowls " we missed bus" I say "No.. we are early." She says "it is not p...

Evening 6.30. I see tiny Dewy running around the corridor behind 2 girls. Then they whisper something and ask Dewy to sit on stairs. They wander around to other floor. There is lull and I come out and see this tiny thing sitting forlorn in steps. Asked her why .. she said she was asked to do so. I asked her to come back home she said she wouldnt because if she doesn't follow her so- called friends they wouldnt play with her. I feel so bummed out. I dont want my daughter to be so dependent on people who doesnt give a batshit about her. She is very emotional. She always wanted to be everyone's friend, everyone to consider her friend. I dont mind that. Just that I didnt want to eat whatever is being dished out for her. I just see her now. Other kids come to her to ask her play. She doesnt seem to hang on to the other kids and certainly not the needy one. If she finds them to not be interested in being friends she just finds the next best option she has. Dignified. I am happy ...

I hear you... Cliche!!! That I am. This year has been so life altering!!! Got my visa to this beautiful place. This was  my long waited wish. Planned and nagged my parents to move to the new house though I knew I would pack myself out of there in few months Packed my entire life into 4 suitcases with Dewy and moved to this foreign place (Crazy I am) Cried my first day here at onsite (no TV, no internet and snow white ground and no people in near vicinity - Lets just say these are the reasons) Scared to death of managing Dewy alone,still ploughed through with Dewy being my strongest pillar. Spent 2 months, begging others to help me drive around. People who know me would know that it is most painful thing for me to do. Got a drivers license and bought a car!!! Simple pleasures. Our lives moves on and comes summer vacation And that too 3 months. 9 weeks of running around office, summer camp and the need to be on time to the Summer Camp!! Duh!! I actually lost weight. Than...

I can't say anything about today!!! It is worth writing. Its just one of those vacation days where kids can't do anything much due to the beautiful weather that is out there. So we have 5 of them like that. They sleep till 11. And slowly come out of hibernation. By 12, they are all fully charged. Scene 1- Cue My Place All 4 of them land together asking if Dewy can join. Even before I say "YES".. Dewy is out. Contrary to the belief that kids do play in corridor [I can go to jail for this offense]. You can imagine the pandemonium it would be. Scene 2: Corridor of my floor:  By 2.. they fought 5 times and I stopped doing panchayat. At 3.. I beg asking them to disperse for lunch. No one seems to be hungry. At 3.05... I try again At 3.10.. They fight again and I use that as diversion and get Dewy to eat lunch Now record happens.. Lunch is over in 30 mins. Without me wailing, repeating to eat and chew. At 3.40 (I know exactly at 3.40) ... They are out...

You would  think I am mad to assume that life is bed of Roses. I know it is not.Trust me I have my fair share of thorns. Somehow seeing Dewy seeing not happy after I made this life changing decision seems to prick me more than any other thorns. God give me patience to deal with it.