Stage Jitters
My parents were watching Amrita T.V. They were so involved into it and I thought would peep in to see what it was. It was some voice hunt kinda thing among kids in Kerala. It was called Super Junior contest. So just settled to see few of them perform and seeing them; I felt small.
When I was in my school, I used to be a part of every elocution and dance competition. Then facing judges and people were not even a matter of concern. For that case; in one Tamil Mandram's Poem recitation competition, my mom prepared me to recite a good Kanadasan’s Poem. I don’t know what made me do so. I went to the stage and sang
“Atho paaru kakka ,
Kadaile vikuthu shika,
Ponnu vara shokka,
Ezhundu poda mooka.”
Imagine me singing this song when all my friends were reciting good poems. I was in 3rd standard at that time. I don’t know how I got the guts to sing such a nasty song right in front of the crowd and that too in a competition. Imagine the reaction of the judges on the stage.
After such daring adventures of mine, now if I am asked to deliver something on stage, I simply end up having with butterflies in stomach. If the crowd is known one then the case is different. But if it’s a huge crowd or to be particular totally unknown one; then there is no point in asking me to do something. It would end up becoming muddle. I had tried not to be conscious about it and decided to give it a try when I was in ILP. On some occasion I was asked to recite a poem of mine. I read the poem in a speed of light, with hands shivering like anything [many even thought I am fanning] and cold as if it was kept in refrigerator.
I still wonder how come the fear has intruded into me. Being too conscious about it has even made things worse. I feel that this fear is due to the insecurity or the fear of making mistake in front of the crowd. Though those things wouldn’t have been a matter as people say you learn through mistakes. I haven’t yet achieved to calm myself, when it comes to doing anything in front of huge crowd except dancing.
My only solace is that, it’s not only me. There are few people I met in ILP who had the same problem of shivering and cold hands when it comes to facing crowd. Still hoping I would recover from this…
When I was in my school, I used to be a part of every elocution and dance competition. Then facing judges and people were not even a matter of concern. For that case; in one Tamil Mandram's Poem recitation competition, my mom prepared me to recite a good Kanadasan’s Poem. I don’t know what made me do so. I went to the stage and sang
“Atho paaru kakka ,
Kadaile vikuthu shika,
Ponnu vara shokka,
Ezhundu poda mooka.”
Imagine me singing this song when all my friends were reciting good poems. I was in 3rd standard at that time. I don’t know how I got the guts to sing such a nasty song right in front of the crowd and that too in a competition. Imagine the reaction of the judges on the stage.
After such daring adventures of mine, now if I am asked to deliver something on stage, I simply end up having with butterflies in stomach. If the crowd is known one then the case is different. But if it’s a huge crowd or to be particular totally unknown one; then there is no point in asking me to do something. It would end up becoming muddle. I had tried not to be conscious about it and decided to give it a try when I was in ILP. On some occasion I was asked to recite a poem of mine. I read the poem in a speed of light, with hands shivering like anything [many even thought I am fanning] and cold as if it was kept in refrigerator.
I still wonder how come the fear has intruded into me. Being too conscious about it has even made things worse. I feel that this fear is due to the insecurity or the fear of making mistake in front of the crowd. Though those things wouldn’t have been a matter as people say you learn through mistakes. I haven’t yet achieved to calm myself, when it comes to doing anything in front of huge crowd except dancing.
My only solace is that, it’s not only me. There are few people I met in ILP who had the same problem of shivering and cold hands when it comes to facing crowd. Still hoping I would recover from this…
Comments
aanaa...appidi ippidi'nu build up kuduthuduven :)
Of all the things how come u chose that particular poem.. is it like ripening at young age case (pinjula pazhutha kase)
Hoping the same.
@Chakra Sampath
Probably I come out of shell in the same way when the chance comes.
@golmaalgopal
Ha..ha.. yeah that gave me some amount of boost.
And Thanks for the wishes :-)
@Bricktop
Anna.. At those times I don't even understand tamil. My maid servant taught me that. And I just reproduced it. It was a change of thought in the spur of the moment and not the reason you have given ..Grrrrrrr