Posts

Alone in the Crowd

I have recently noticed that even when I am surrounded by people, I am alone It is just me in my thoughts. What do I think about? Nothing really comes to my mind I am not an introvert but still making conversations hurt All my conversations are meaningless My voice is probably not heard though I shout from my roof tops Or I think I am shouting Do I enjoy silence? You know me well I don't What do I want? To be heard... To be spoken to.... so that I feel I am important to you What do I want? A drive to get up from bed... A push to work... Motivation to exercise... Interests to pursue and some one to talk to.

2022- Year of Surprises

 This is little late probably a little too late. But this year was a like a roller coaster ... one of the good kinds. So 1) I left my company which was like my home base for last 15 years and kind of becoming my second home. It took me lot of courage to leave the place.  2) Moved to a completely different city. It wasn't easy as the older place had gotten comfortable 3) Added someone to family. We had challenges but at the end it turned out good 4) Dewy had her own challenges to move from a friend overloaded place to a place where finding a cow is easier than finding friends 5) Dewy finding her way to manage her life around different things in a new place by itself was something that I am thankful for. We all grow in different way and this was hers 6) We did California. Literally California - LA, San Francisco, Monterey Bay, Lake Tahoe. It was one hell of trip for 10 days and it ended with some unexpected surprises 7) We finally did the Disney. The one thing I promised Dewy when we

Change is inevitable!!

I have been planning for this change a long time. I had discussed this with Dewy that we would have to deal with it but somehow when the change comes in , it hits you like a tornado But you know in my case if it not just one change it is just a lot of changesssssssss. 1) Changed my employer. Wasn't easy because I probably had plans (you know the one you make as soon as you get your first paycheck) to retire from the same organization. This wasn't easy but somehow I was feeling very suffocated with my growth both technically and financially. I am still not happy but grass on this side is lot greener. A lot of contemplation on this. Saving it for another time 2) Moved states. Dewy was fore-warned that we would move out of our comfortable high rise to a place where she gets a better school district. But states. Wasn't in the plan. Work and few other commitments dragged me out of Burgh. Is it good? Yet to know but I am slightly happy that I decided to move as it gave me opportu

Jaded

Do I dare to dream!! These days I don't spend too much time to think what I need to put here . Can't deny that I have did in past or when I started out this blogging business. Now this has become a place where I just put in my random thoughts and which I know in my senile age I would read and try to remember what triggered it. On this one. It is not categorized because it is just confused me writing it..  When you are not sure what is that you are getting how the heck to react? Is it just a small gift that you get once and then cherish forever. Is it a chocolate ice cream that you treat yourselves every now and then but then melts out of your hands if you try to hold on to it. Or is it a something that you know you will have in life throughout.  Jaded I have seen it, felt it Even treasured it It is out there in front of you People seem to be full of it Reach for it , it swifts by And to think ,you almost has a grasp It cant be all that laborious After all it is ubiquitous It th

Smells Amazing

 January is already over and it went in a jiffy. It took me some solid time to get over the fact that it would take me sometime to go and meet my parents again, plus booster dose knocking me out completely ( Now I know my first 2 doses were saline) and then a horrendous cold. That's how I didn't realize it went fast. I remember writing some dreary post about home and then instead of publishing I deleted it. That being said, I thought I wont make this one droopy This is about some smells that bring me smile or :-( 1) Camphor- This reminds me of home. It is not that camphor was lit every day in my home, but it was lit during pooja and somehow it reminds me of mom at our home 2) Agarbathi- The funny part is , I don't remember this as part of pooja ingredient but as a closet freshener. It is mom's go to method to keep bugs away from her closets.  I just opened a fresh bed spread I brought from India and Dewy immediately said Oh this smells like Ammumma's home 3) Dawn Di

This is just it!!!

It takes 2 hands to clap and it always takes 2 inclined individuals in a relationship. Be it Mother- Daughter, or friends or relationship. In some hazy relations , you don't even know that you have started off and driven far away and the other one is still back there because the other engine doesn't start that easily. It is only surprising how human nature agrees to ignore the bad engine as an one time trouble and brushes past it when needed. Other times, the same broken engine becomes the topic in the next gathering causing unwanted attention to a minor problem.  One small expectation, few presumptions, a argument, and big-fat ego is all it takes.  I have some self destructing habits which always comes to foray at the worst times. I trust a person just because I always see the good in a person and I have forgiven  because it takes too much of energy to hold the anger. This usually leads to people assuming that I am okay to be trampled over.  Not this time, not anymore.  Sulkin

Welcome 2022!!

 Hello 2022.... In contrast to my previous year, 2021 went pretty fast. Am I eager to go to 2022? Like Dewy says possibly, probably, might be, hopefully. But to reminiscence 2021, here I go 1) Best New Year one could have!! Florida, Sun, Beach and one of your bestie 2) Dewy growing up right in front of my eyes. Does this count?  3) One of my career goals met which would help me to step up in my personal life 4) I did my trip to India. Yep the same one that 2020 sunk. Though it was filled with work and list of items that I was in my to-do, but it was good. I felt that my parents have shrunk and had few interesting discussions (A whole new topic for some other time) 5) Got a beautiful car. I remember buying my Chevy and excited to transition from Maruti 800  and having my initial troubles with the zip drive and the brakes 6) Met my darlings and spent solid time with them and discussing whatnots. This is something I wish I could do more often And here I am in the last week of vacation in