Jagamum naan Ahamum naan

A vague memory!! When you announce to world that you are pregnant, random people will ask you with wide grin and big eyes " Aren't you excited?" and I always meticulously grin back and say "yeah". Excited? Here I am wondering about sleepless nights and cranky baby. By the way, I have never tagged myself to be a "ohhh I looove  kids" person. Those excited people fall into any of these categories A) Already one kid person - welcome to the world of obsessed parents. Now I will see how you fare better than me. B) Happy Bachelorette - Now she will certainly spend less time for career. I am better than her now. Will ask my manager to consider me for promotion C) Team member - She will go off and we can probably get a saner manager who will be less torturous D) Rarely found genuine always-happy-for-others people. My motto as usual was to tackle things when the devil is out. And this is how my life pans out. Dewy : Amma, nee (you)... I intervene.. D

When we feel too low, don’t we all revisit the incidents to just see where things started going wrong. I am a  phase like that. I am not feeling low, but I am confused. I have got something that I was really rooting for. I have been extremely happy and hoped that things will change for better. I wanted the freedom, the decision to choose what I want and fly like a bird free of any concern. But do we really get to do that ever in our short span of life?  Naahhh.. I don’t think so. Now with me nearing that tip point, I am like anybody, hesitating to leave my comfort zone. I look back, like a projector , see happy moments, sun shining through and all happy faces, then it turns gloomy, dark clouds looming large and wonder if this is what triggered me to be so confident on “THIS” thing. Recently I was rummaging my papers and I see some notes that I have made. Considering how I like to be thorough and think through decisions , I have listed Pros and Cons of this event in life. Sounded lik